The Soul's Landscape and What Else is There?

May 31st 2019

The atelier tour is going to be postponed until later, since there has been a few unpredictable shifts and turns along the way. Right now, I’m writing from the tower of a Belle Epoque villa in Beaulieu-sur-Mer, in the heart of the French Riviera. My inner voice however speaks to me, telling that this is where I ought to be. This is the vantage point where I’ll paint in the future and connect my soul and mind with my hands. Since being present in the moment and indulging in the mind is more important than caring about any superficial circumstances, this is still as good as it gets in terms of quality of light, tall ceilings and overall ambience of a historic villa by the Mediterranean sea. I couldn’t be happier.

After all that has been given to me in the form of disappointments in this journey of finding an atelier in the French Riviera, maybe it’s all been a blessing in disguise. The stars have been aligned finally in the last month or so and I can finally move forward and dive ’back to passion’.

As promised earlier, there are topics to clarify before the atelier tour. Mainly those concern study and style. I try to explain in detail as to what these mean to me and why I paint. Painting itself is only the summarized plot of a long story. Painting is a product and meaningless in itself unless one tries to sink a bit deeper than that (mostly superficial) surface of forms and colors.

Experiments or drafts and therapy of mind

I experiment on canvas but I also self-therapy. These experiments become drafts and truthfully they will always be drafts to me. I might call them finalized drafts. It’s the only conscious decision I make, when I decide that the work can be set free and I stop touching it. The therapeutic part is mainly coping with the flood of themes that surround us humans as tiny, negligible particles of this universe. As I believe that an uncontrollable mind is the mind that has the opportunity to bring forth something out of nothing. On a side note I was just having a discussion with a friend who said that she is not as artistic as I am, to which I replied that you actually are. If you are a free individual who allows no control from anyone and you make something out of nothing, thus you are an artist. We all could be. If your spirit is free and your intentions are fair, there are no limits as to what you can do. Let it be, that it is what you find intriguing to yourself.

Painting for me is also about not aiming to make art at all but to express primary, organic and intuitive emotions. While I express I try not to think of anything but release of what’s inside and what’s in the mind finally just explodes onto canvas. Every detail in the final work gushes from the subconscious. Any visible balance in the work itself is only a result of not aiming for it. Intentional obsession for finding balance might actually kill the work completely. Too much thinking also kills it and I want the works to start breathing on their own.

Style deriving from the landscape of soul

Style, I believe is at least partly (in all medias of art) influenced by an inner built landscape of soul which derives from the childhood and surrounding atmosphere, spiced with the aesthetics and ambiance. Even if I’m aware that my style has evolved throughout the years, the base bricks were laid long before I started to hold a brush in my hand. The circumstances as a child, from what I saw and sensed, to how I was encouraged and treated up until the freedoms I was given, have shaped my form of style in self expression. I always felt loved and accepted the way I was and no one tried to control my future. I was a happy child, living in one of the most privileged countries in the world. From this perspective I still look at the world. I’m used to clean air and water, seeing lakes and pristine forests from my childhood home window, being able to be one with the nature and all it’s wonders. All of the 4 seasons still inspire me to look at changing horizons with awe. I’ve painted a lot of horizons possibly due to being surrounded by them, whether it was an oak field in the countryside or a frozen northern sea in the winter time.

Why one paints

As I’ve mentioned before, to me the end product is not as interesting as the reasonings why one does what he or she does. In summary, there is the drive which can be called passion. Then there is the media, which I’ve chosen in a form of painting on canvas. With endless curiosity it’s my passion to interpret as to why we as species have still so long ways to go in understanding each other and the roots of the superficial world we’ve created for ourselves. Our brains are such an enigma and holds so much potential for good, yet we use this organ to slowly destroy ourselves and the planet we’re living in. In the mean time as one cannot save people from themselves, I try to observe, learn and cope with all the information overflow. This is the reason I paint, to understand and to cope.

Tanja